Hypnotherapy - Part 2

 During the first session, which was intended as a means to stop smoking, I realized that the roots of this habit were deeper than I thought. I was able to make new connections, linking the need for smoking to the relationship with my parents, especially my father.
For this reason, I decided to shift the focus of the new session from smoking to early childhood issues. I was already well aware that there were underlying issues here, but I never quite connected them to smoking.



The session pretty much followed the method of the first session: relax the body, relax the mind, find "my spot" in nature, go down a staircase symbolizing the past, and meet with a young version of myself. I listened to his feelings of loneliness, powerlessness, hopelessness, mistrust...He had no clear direction from his parents, no emotional support, no intellectual nourishment. There was no real father figure to lean on. On the contrary. I clearly remember telling myself that I wanted to become the opposite of what my parents were. They were negative examples of what I wanted to be. 

The next step was to reassure the young me that he is always loved, that he is good enough, that he doesn't have to do anything or prove anything to anyone to deserve this love. I was encouraged by the therapist to take on the role of the bigger brother, of the loving father and of the compassionate teacher. I hugged the young self with all the love I was capable of. 

I also visualized my parents as children. This helped me to understand that we are all children, trying our best with what we've learned from our own parents. We're all damaged somehow, all afraid of something. 

The part that really surprised me was when I asked my younger self what he wanted to tell my parents. I half expected him to say "Don't be so selfish" or "Love me as I am". Instead, he immediately said "Tell them I love them". This really hit me deeply, and naturally, emotions rose up to the surface. Wow, such purity from a child.

Passing on this message to my parents will be one of the most difficult things I've done in my life...likely the most liberating too.
I never told my parents that I loved them because deep down there was always this resentment and mistrust. But if you think about it, they too deserve to be loved for what they are and if you can't get that love from your own children/family, where are you supposed to get it from? I feel very sad thinking that they are nearing their 80's now and they've never experienced real, unconditional love. Not from their parents, not from their spouses, not from their children.

I will do my best to give them this experience.