Is this the exit from the cave?

I've been searching for nearly 3 decades, undergoing some sort of "purification" which had one single goal: the pursuit of truth. This has led me from collecting all kinds of knowledge about spirituality, going from New Age BS to Advaita Vedanta (non-duality) and yet, truth always seemed just out of my reach. "If you do this exercise, if you just read this book, if you just follow that guru....you will, one day, get it." That's what I believed. That was my reality.

Not anymore. 

Now I see all of that as just another distraction, keeping the ego busy...thinking you are doing something that will conclude your search, when in fact, all one needs to do is....stop searching. 

That's why I stopped all outer activities...painting, watchmaking, playing music, learning this or that skill... The intention might have been right, but the motivation was wrong. I did those things to fill a hole, but that hole could never ever be filled by external patches. They were just temporary relief patches and once the high wore off, a new patch had to be found. 

The "hole" is just a dark corner of our being that needs to be put in the light. Some call it childhood trauma. The light comes from our attention and awareness. It needs to be illuminated by looking at it straight, honestly, without fear and excuses. 

Once that is done, outer activities can still be followed. Or not. It won't really matter anymore.

The difference is that we no longer rely on them to make us whole. 

Our awareness, our consciousness is all that is needed to go from human childhood to human adulthood. No book, no guru, no New Age workshop will bring you one inch closer to yourself. All they do is provide a temporary feel-good patch, giving you the illusion that you're doing something in order to gain freedom. 

This is my experience, but it relates to all humans. This is what we all have in common. 

peace